Firstly a
bitter story…
Long back,
when I was a consultant in Moolchand Medicity, two boys; one in twenties and
the other in teens, entered my OPD. It was their third or fourth visit for
getting some treatment for their non-specific abdominal complaints. In routine,
I asked them how they were feeling. They said—fine. And they stopped like
thinking to say something but hesitating. Getting them confused, as they had become a bit friendly to me during this period of their visits, I asked them to
say whatever they want to without hesitation, but fast as other patients were
waiting for their turn.
“Sir, do you
have something to increase the sexual power?” the younger one mumbled shyly.
In the first
place, I was surprised on the query which was embarrassing enough not only for
them but for me too to reply—to my too young patients seeking treatment for
sexual disorder. To get a clear idea, as I was not expecting them to have
medicine to increase their libido at this age, I asked, “Yes, we have. For whom?”
This time
the elder one stuttered, “For ourselves—sir.”
“Yourself?”
I exclaimed.
“Yes sir,”
they nodded.
“Are you, I
mean, both of you married?” I asked them in amazement. I also knew that they
were real brothers.
“No,” they
nodded in negation.
“Then, must
be having girlfriends?” I quipped and laughed towards them—supposing them a bit
misguided and confused by their peers boasting their unstoppable, enormous
sexual prowess— a normal phenomenon among friends making them subdued with
inferiority complex.
“No sir,”
they replied having an stilted smile showing their embarrassment.
Perhaps they
were expecting me to write a prescription for them, in routine, without going into
deep details.
“Then, how
do you know that you’re sexually weak? In fact, where do you test if you don’t
have girlfriends?” I tried to know the reason simply as I did never expect a
person at this age coming for sexual weakness.
And the
answer they offered shocked and shook me to the core.
“Aunties,”
one of them replied.
Their
demeanor was telling that they were serious and not joking in any manner.
However, I couldn’t trust on my ears hearing that word—aunties!
For a while
I was dumbstruck. I looked at them in utter disbelief and astonishment and
tried to get an elaborated account what did they mean.
“Aunties?
What do you mean?” I wondered and frowned at them.
“Sir, our
immediate neighbors and a few of our mom’s friends,” the elder one told. Till
that time their shyness had vanished and they had become quite frank—brazen to
say precisely.
“How?”
flabbergasted, I asked again.
“Aunties,
who remain lonely when their husbands are away on official tours for weeks and
their children are in school, they call us, serve us the best of wines and show
us the porn movies on TV. This is great fun. But they’re too demanding. That’s
why we’ve come to you,” the younger one described their hunky-dory with their
femme fatale aunties.
Being an
astute observer by nature, I tried to know more and out of curiosity asked
them, “Do your mom not know all or something about it?”
“No sir! Not
the least. When they come to our home to have a chat with mom, we even don’t
see eye-to-eye,” and they tittered.
Stunned, I
closed my eyes. Perhaps that was my first encounter with the harsh and ugly
reality of our society—where our neighbors, relatives, family friends,
known-to-uncles and aunties and cousins are exploiting our kids and playing
extremely dirty and shameful games behind the veils—behind the veils of our
good-relations with them.
How
dangerous they can be, I thought.
The above
incident, which is not one off, coincides with the statistics of rape and
sodomy cases in our society putting the onus on only ones—the known ones in
more than 80% cases. (Please refer the latest news items’ headlines attached as
a photograph.) Even a few celebrities (name withheld), both male and female,
have accepted that they were molested, raped and sodomized by their close-relatives
and family-friends during their childhood.
Now the moot
question is—can we prevent it?
YES, to some
extent—provided we take a few cautious measures.
1. Be possessive about your wards till
they cross their education at least at school level.
2. Never trust anyone, whosoever maybe;
a servant, a maid, a family friend, a relative, a tenant, a landlord, a
neighbor and other fringe elements visiting your house time-to-time like
presswala, sabziwala, plumber, electrician etc. etc.
3. Learn to distrust anyone coming in
contact your kids; a teacher, a tutor, their playmates and school friends
including all the above as mentioned at no.2
4. Keep a close watch and strict vigil
on the behavior of the above mentioned people. Beware! You maybe dodged by
their extremely cordial, sweet and friendly attitude towards all your family
members.
5. Don’t allow your kids to play with
others in separate rooms or in lonely parks. NEVER.
6. Gone are the days when we would visit
our relatives on maternal and paternal sides during winter and summer
vacations. Yet, if you’re obliged to visit for some unavoidable reasons, don’t
allow your little ones to sleep with any of your relatives or their
kids—howsoever nice they maybe.
7. It’s easy to proclaim that the girls
should have all kinds of liberties and be allowed to roam anytime anywhere.
Yes, I’m also the big proponent of all kinds of freedom to the girls—but not at
the cost of their security and dignity.
8. Dear guys and gals, you’ve to save
yourselves—by not strolling at odd hours, by not attending late-night parties,
clubs, discos and pubs, by not mingling not only with strangers but with known
ones at odd hours and at lonely places. If you do it, it’s your risk and no
government may save you if you fall prey to some predator.
9. If we think deep into our hearts—is
all this possible? Dear friends, where boys are not safe in our society, can we
expect a foolproof security and guarantee of the safety of our girls? And
who’ll provide? The answer is obvious—NO.
10. Never leave your innocent kids in the
custody of a neighbor, a relative or whosoever maybe for whatsoever reason.
11. Remember—even Sita was not spared and
got kidnapped on being left alone by godly Ram and mighty Laxman. We’re nothing
but petty human beings.
Dear friends, in any given society, crimes cannot be stopped
absolutely. However, we can reduce them—by preventing them. And the above
measures may seem to be impractical to invoke but I’m sure that our cautious
attitude towards little things in our routine life may save our kids from the
menace of rape, molestation and sodomy.
We cannot teach or preach morality and idealism or pray and
beg the people not to rape and molest our children. Nobody is ready to listen.
These are the hard hitting facts of our life—you may disagree but cannot deny
them.
CHANCES TO BE HARMED BY UNKNOWN ARE SELDOM WHEREAS THE KNOWN
MAY ATTACK LIKE A GORILLA ANYTIME—KEEPING AN EVIL EYE ON OUR KIDS 24X7,
STEALTHILY.
SO BEWARE OF THE KNOWN FIRST!
AS—PREVENTION IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN CURE.
Thanks for kind reading!!
Rajeev Pundir, MD (Ayu.)
An Ayurvedic specialist, Novelist and a Columnist.
